No Escape from the Dark Side...


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Bron:Die to Love

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(Unmani | Die to love) Look at the nature of life. It always includes the opposite polarity of whatever appears: male, female, you, me, creation, destruction, birth, death, pain, pleasure, light, darkness... We can not know one without knowing the other. On the spiritual path we have, for so long, assumed that we are on a path towards the light, and away from the darkness. But again and again we are confronted by the obvious fact that there is really no escape from the so called darker side of life. It exists in and as us. It is as unavoidable as water is wet. In order to know the wholeness and freedom that is our true nature, we have to see that it includes the whole spectrum of life, and not only the good stuff.

As we grow up we are taught various social values about the light and dark sides of life. We learn what is right and wrong and good and bad. We learn that we need to do whatever we can to avoid the wrong, bad or ugly, painful or unpleasant. We learn that if we do stray into the dark side, then it will be threaten our very existence. We grow up with ideas of what is beautiful and what is ugly, and what is unwanted or wanted. We make so much effort to avoid the unwanted or socially unacceptable because we are ultimately terrified it will kill us, but no matter what we do and how hard we try to avoid it, it seems to turn up in our lives in some form or another.

Spirituality has so often been portrayed as light, fluffy and spacey. When we believe the separation between what is spiritual and what is not, then we will assume that to be more spiritual is to be a more saintly good person, or to experience only happiness and joy. However, real spirituality (or in fact simply nature) entertains no real separation at all. All polarities and paradoxes are experienced as they are, without needing to change or fix anything. Everything can exist simultaneously because the paradoxical nature of life is acknowledged. There is no need to run from pain, and chase or try to hold onto peace and love, because it known that there is nowhere hide, and that whatever polarity is here now, must eventually swing to the opposite extreme. There is really no difference between what is spiritual and what is not. The whole of life is here to experience. Not only half of it.

The thinking will only ever deal in these polarities and dualities. There is no escape from this fact. When one opinion arises, the opposite arises simultaneously. Both sides will always exist simultaneously even if you don’t always like to admit or feel that. When you identify with the 
thinking, you will believe that you are the one that is swinging from one side to another. You will try to be good, but long to be bad. You will chase or try to hold onto sweet spiritual experiences because you feel such pain. You will try to be nice and kind, but all the while feel an overwhelming anger that you have to be that way. You will speak like you know, and secretly doubt you know anything. It is endless swinging from one side to the other, always looking and hoping for a resting place in this or that.

We seem to be chasing happiness and nice experiences all the while thinking hat this will mean the end of unhappiness or unpleasant experiences. We make such an effort to avoid anything unpleasant, that even this effort becomes unpleasant. To think that you have to try to be happy all the time is such an effort to have to keep away the darkness: like the social convention to slap a fake smile on your face so that no one will see how depressed you really feel. What happens if you are really honest with what is? Will it really kill you? Or is it more the fear and dramatizing of it all that makes it only seem so bad? The endless effort in trying to avoid the dark side, is so exhausting and impossible. All the chasing and identifying with only one side of the paradox, is futile. There is no escape from reality.

The thinking wants something to do or hold onto, but whatever it finds, or lands in, is only one side of the paradox. It is not about transcending anything. And it is not about ‘being with it’ in order to get rid of it. It is a real honesty with what is here. Crack open and feel the pain or anger that is here now, knowing that it is only what is here now, and is bound to swing to the opposite soon enough. Don’t be afraid to feel the fear even if you tremble and shake. It is all completely felt, and completely meaningless because the opposite is always just as meaningful. While you go on pretending it is all ‘nice’ and 'under control', the opposite is only dying to burst out any moment. But if it is all free to be felt as, and when it is, then there is no need for it to keep bursting out violently.
And even if it does, then that is also included. I am not suggesting that we need to act out or express our darker side all of the time. It is usually enough just to feel and acknowledge what is actually here. When it is really felt, then whether it is expressed or not is often irrelevant. It is really about seeing the paradoxical nature of life and knowing that the opposite polarities are always arising together, and therefore ultimately cancel each other out.

There can not be light without darkness. There can not be joy without pain or ecstasy without agony. While you go on assuming that life is one sided you will go on suffering. While you continue to ignore or try to get rid of half of life, it will continue to haunt you. There is no escape from
reality. Acknowledging the truth of nature is to walk the tightrope of the paradox of life. Seeing that neither good or bad, right or wrong, pain or pleasure have any permanence or fundamental meaning or resting place. Life is made of polarities and paradoxes. Knowing and acknowledging both sides of the paradox is freedom. Both sides exist simultaneously, and neither side has more or less value or meaning.

Life is wild and free. But real freedom is the freedom to be in a prison.
It is the freedom to feel it all and be a complete mess. It is the freedom to not have to clean it all up, but for it to just be as it is. The wild nature of life includes chaos as well as order, sexuality as well as spirituality, movement as well as stillness, disturbance as well as peace, play as well as seriousness, pain as well as pleasure. In seeing and feeling these polarities as they arise, and knowing that you are never really limited to one side or the other, this is acknowledging the nature of life. Life includes the light and the dark. They both appear and disappear in you. Seeing this, is seeing the freedom beyond both.


Geplaatst door Redactie Earth Matters

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